Hello again, sorry if I don't make updates as often, as I've mentioned before I'm not keen on constantly posting all the time about stuff unless its actually relevant. but I figured this was the right time to share at least some plans with regards to both the webcomic as well as the novel.

the Book is still happening, its just a slow process because I am between editors right now and I've hod to go through more then 3 different revisions over the past few months, and I haven't even made a first draft of the entire thing. yes I'm perfectly aware of how insufficient my writing method is, but keep in mind I am a massive perfectionist, and part of wide I lose motivation to continue is because all first drafts look ugly and I have no idea how to make it look and sound better.

as for the comic, I'm still on the fence as to what to do with that, I am planning on redesigning characters, starting with making ref sheets for each of the main characters, I already have one rough done of Flint's redesign I plan on redrawing. the reason for the slow production is I'm switched to Clip Studio Paint and the rough was made in SAI. So I'm going to redraw it in CSP to make the template for the other characters easier.

On a more personal note, things are stable and honestly, I'm kind of terrified that it is. over the span of 6 months I've found a powerful networking partner, an borderline internship/potential job placement with that networking partner, a potential voice acting position for a serious art film, an editor for my book, and a large community of incredibly talented artists that genuinely like me and treat with dignity and respect, that made me feel more welcome then anywhere else I have been before.

And this right here is where the nihilist in me starts going "okay, so.. when is the bomb going to go off where everything falls apart and I lose everything again and have to start over?", because its always when I get happy,comfy and content that things start to deteriorate, but its not this time, like at all. Because I've had nice things happen to me before having them ripped away, leaving me empty and heartbroken, its always been a consistent pattern in the past.

Maybe things are just fine and this is the new normal, being accepted instead of simply tolerated until I make a mistake and end up hiding away. Sorry if this sounds overly negative, I'm still trying to be optimistic in spite of my anxiety and paranoia. I think certain phantom is right, I think I finally realized that I'm just done with feeling hurt.

I think maybe its time to start believing that I have a right to be happy, and that I am worthy not just in the eyes of other people/artists, but I am worthy of myself. Yeah my personal standards are kinda high, but I think I'll give it a pass, because HOLY SHIT! I HAVE A FUCKING BOOK! and... its not a complete garbage fire right not.

I have a relatively consistent art style and its not an uncanny disaster of proportions. I have a set of character designs I seriously fucking love, and not the way a mother loves an ugly baby, like holy fuck, I kinda wanna lewd Victor just because of how good he looks now. If I do it, I'm not gonna share it, but you're welcome to make your own.

I guess that about wraps it up, I donno if I covered anything relevant other then just an emotion break through, not exactly professional but then again I never tried to pretend to be, but at the very least I think I know what I'm doing, and if the world doesn't end this year then I'm definitely on to something.